My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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