It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
