its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We need to get me chipped asap
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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