I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
