If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
