you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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