i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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