yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
