You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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