man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
