PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
