I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
