Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
