Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
