if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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