That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
