True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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