would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Alive.
So much puke
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
