I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
