we're blogging at a bar
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
