I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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