and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
