Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
