Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
