She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
