your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
