I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
