I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
