Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
