Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
