Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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