I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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