i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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