I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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