if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's blow job season.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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