stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need to align my fucking chakras
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
