i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
