You're so nebulous sometimes
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
