the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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