I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
