so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
