Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
