Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
