You're so nebulous sometimes
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
