Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
