I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
