YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
