we have pet lesbian snakes
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
