i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Found the puke drawer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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