I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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