This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
